Matrimonials

Both my sisters have actually insisted that they want a marriage arranged by our elders.  So, with my family looking around for suitable grooms for my sisters, I thought I’d help by looking into matrimonial advertisements in the newspapers.

And here’s what I found:

Parents invite proposals for their son, MBA, age 26/178, working in Dubai, from God-fearing and employed girls only.  Call 050-xxxxxxx.

…………………………………

Uncle invites proposals from professional girls, for his nephew, aged 31, 150 cms, medium complexion, BTech (Electronics), employed in Dubai and willing to settle anywhere.  Contact 04-xxxxxxx.

………………………………..

I’m looking for bride who is well settled in any foreign country like Canada, Australia, America, UK , Saudia or Dubai. Who may help me to settle there. I’m 20 years old.  I have recently given papers of B.com.  I’m 5’11 feet tall with fair complexion.  Alhamdulilah very handsome and smart.  I’m not a greedy person.  No demand.  I just want sincere people.

………………………………..

I’m 29 year old businessman from UK.  I’m looking for a sincere and faithful female for marriage.  If  you are self independent or financially stable, please call me at xxxxxxx.

……………………………….

My name is xxxx.   MBA (BANKING AND FINANCE) and looking for the most beautiful girl to marry.  She must be less than 25 because my age is 25.

……………………………….

I am 24 years old and employed with good salary.  I want a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever.  She may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the entire life can run smoothly.  Thank you.  You may call me at xxxxxxx.

………………………………..

I am a 32 year-old simple guy with own business in Sharjah.  I love to make people laugh.  The three things I am looking from a girl are:

1.  She should believe in God.

2.  She should like my profession.

3.  She should not get bored with me when I try to make her laugh.

………………………………

I guess I’ll just leave this match-making task to the elders.

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20 Responses to Matrimonials

  1. masood says:

    He wanted settled people to settle himself and then no greed…wah kya baat hai

    It is sadly becoming too common in India and Pakistan, that men prefer professional women who are settled abroad.

  2. Umm Travis says:

    Actually I was just telling a sister who was looking into hijrah to a Muslim country that she should find an Arab Muslim man — and also that was a characteristic I looked for as I wanted someone to help me with Quran as I was a new muslimah… so I dont know – looking for someone settled somewhere ELSE is not a bad thing. Of course, the best characteristic is deen…

    And ya– my husband has friends looking to get married… even some of them look for strange things. One is divorced and thinks he should have a BEAUTIFUL VIRGIN ick. No one here (in Egypt) can stand someone divorced… thats another thing that irks me. Especially if THAT person is divorced OR the one who is divorced (women) has excellent religion.

    People are weird, Thats the bottom line 😉

    Looking for someone settled somewhere else is not a bad thing, but the intention of some of these men is based on greed and selfishness. They want the easy way out of their own country and get visa easily (because wife is settled in that elsewhere).

  3. Ubaid says:

    hahah i would love to have that guys number the one who wants a settled wife in abroad lolz

    the second last one sounds decent !!

    The second to the last one: “She may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the entire life can run smoothly.”

    I don’t know of any girl who would want to create any difficulties in his life or her life by which their entire life won’t run smoothly 🙂

  4. Sumera says:

    The ads in the Urdu papers are equally as funny. 😀

    Thanks for the warning 😉

  5. Dubai Guy says:

    OMG, is the guy really serious. I mean the last ad: “She should not get bored with me when I try to make her laugh”

    He himself sounds like a boring person, probably people around him are tired of his jokes. But the good thing, at least he is being honest here 😀

    He wanted a wife who would appreciate his sense of humor – at all times 🙂

  6. Pingback: Matrimonials | Tea Break

  7. mubi says:

    hahaha this was fun! :p

    🙂

  8. I honestly thought you were joking. So this is like Muslim Match only the paper version or something??

    hmm…

    well, at least they’re all grammatically correct! Unlike your purposal guy LOL =P

    These are real ads in the paper’s matrimonial section.

    PS: I edited the grammar and spelling 😉

  9. Abid says:

    “the most beautiful girl to marry”

    lol..

    “She must be less than 25 because my age is 25.”

    Why must it be that the girl is younger than they guy?

    Also, what was wrong with my blog that you couldn’t post comments?

    When I try to post the comment on your blog, the page continues to load indefinitely. It just says “transferring data from http://www.abidhasan.com

  10. Sabiha says:

    lol these poor men, some I just don’t know about. Like this ad:
    I am 24 years old and employed with good salary. I want a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. She may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the entire life can run smoothly. Thank you. You may call me at xxxxxxx.

    LoL he should know that as women it is part of our specialty to create some (hopefully) minor difficulties.

    LOL 😀 Where would the fun be without the difficulties? 😉

  11. Aadil says:

    They are hilarious! 😆

    “looking for the most beautiful girl to marry” .. lol

    “I want a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever..” .. now only his relatives or friends could know him in prior which arises the question as to why he put the ad in the newspaper then .. and who on earth could give him the assurance without knowing him, that she will stay with him forever? ..
    Very strange! 🙂

    Strange but true. Remember, these are real ads published in the paper by real people 🙂

  12. frozeefa says:

    i guess pple are really diff and sometimes weird..
    I am glad my parents or i found what i truly needed
    Al Hamdulilah

    More than being weird, I think some people simply have way too many, unrealistic expectations 🙂

    You haven’t updated your blog for quite sometime now. How are you?

  13. Louise says:

    Apparently height is important?

    Yes, leave it to the elders. I’m astounded by this just as much as your next post that people still fall for phishing scams!

    But if the girl is settled abroad, height can be ignored 😉

    Greed, Louise – that’s the main cause.

  14. Haleem says:

    This reminds me of a story I have to post. We started to look for sister #1 and lot of funny rishtas! Not to mention the bio data pic.

    Bio data pic – LOL – that’s a completely different story altogether!

  15. DuFFeR says:

    i think ppl are posting just for fun 😀

    Perhaps some do it for fun, but most of them seem pretty serious.

  16. Wakas Mir says:

    hehe i liked this one..

    “I am a 32 year-old simple guy with own business in Sharjah. I love to make people laugh. The three things I am looking from a girl are:

    1. She should believe in God.

    2. She should like my profession.

    3. She should not get bored with me when I try to make her laugh.”

    She should NOT get bored with me when I try to make her laugh 😛 Yah that’s the condition.. agar bore hui to he will leave his joker profession!

    LOL – didn’t think about it that way ke uska professional hansney haansaney se hosakta hai 🙂

  17. Asma Ahsan says:

    These matrimonial ads are always too funny 😛

    They don’t have editors 🙂

  18. hfm says:

    She should not get bored with me when I try to make her laugh.

    Sounds really insecure in himself.But then all these people must be pretty confident to post up an ad in the newspaper- dunno really.

    Confidence is it, and sometimes they just want to be painfully honest 🙂

  19. meow says:

    LoL!! Are you serious?! What newspaper is that?

    I found these from random online desi newspapers.

  20. Nisar Ahmad says:

    Here is the right most Solution. Al-Hamdu-Lilla A sincere approach. Please help me in promoting this effort.

    http://www.lahore-matrimonials.com

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