Things That Are Common In All Desi Movies

After a very long time, I have had the chance to surf the channels leisurely today and watch some TV.  Our cable, E-vision, has been generous to offer ALL the channels free of cost for three days, as an Eid present to their loyal subscribers.

I surfed through some 1980s-1990s Hindi and Pakistani movies.  After an hour of watching random desi movies, I noticed a few things which are very common to almost all of these movies.

The Hero’s Mother

More often than not, the hero’s mother turns out to be a poor widow, clad in white saree.

She is almost always blind.

She loses her son (s) in one tragic way or the other while the boys are still young, and conveniently finds them back when they are grown men.  This way, the hero’s mother doesn’t even have to worry about finances involved in raising her son (s) and schooling.

The Leading Lady

She is always rude and angry with the hero at the start of the movie.

When chased or captured by the bad guys, this otherwise gentle and soft-spoken lady, never forgets to throw some heavy “curse” words at them.

While the hero tries to save her by bravely fighting off the bad guys single-handedly, the leading lady stands there watching, instead of running off to safety or calling for help.

The Doctor

The doctors in our desi movies are very silly characters.  First of all, they don’t even look like professional medical practitioners, which means they don’t chose the right actor to play the part.

The doctor usually pays home visits to the hero’s poor family, with the hero walking behind him, clutching the black medical bag.

After randomly placing the stethoscope all over the patient’s chest and doing nothing else, the doctor usually says,”This case is very serious.  I’ve done everything that I could.  I’m sorry.”

The Fighting Scene

The muscular, well-groomed hero always fights overweight, dirty, and yellow-shirt-on-red-pants-wearing bad guys.

The hero will seem to lose the fight, lying on the street injured to the point of death, until he sees that the bad guys are after the leading lady.  Once the hero is back on his feet, he becomes invulnerable, even to bullets.

The Injury

Regardless of how the hero or his leading lady are injured:  car accident, fall from a building, hitting a stone, being shot on the leg, drowned in the river, or beaten by the bad guys, the injury is almost always on the forehead.

There will be a white bandage neatly wrapped around the forehead, with a distinct red “blood’ spot on one side.

The Ending

The Police arrives on the scene once the hero is done beating the bad guys black and blue.

Those who are dying get time to deliver their 10-minute lines before eventually passing away in the arms of the hero.

The entire cast gathers at one place, all of them facing the camera.

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13 Responses to Things That Are Common In All Desi Movies

  1. masood says:

    LOL very funny..There is a Tamil actor called Rajni Kanth and his actions are all super duper powerful and imaginary.. he can run faster than a bullet.

    I remember a scene where he fires a single bullet towards three villains. He then throws a knife in the air, cutting that bullet into two halves: half of the bullet hits the first villain, the other half hits the second villain, and the knife hits the third villain!

    ~ That’s why I’d rather blog than watching these movies 😀

    But seriously, there are good movies too.

  2. Nisa AK says:

    LMAO! Thats so typical of hindi movies!!! (but then i only watch hindi movies)
    And yeah rajni kanth, Mashallah, even at the slightest move of his hand is followed by a whipping sound! HAHAHAHHAHA

    ~ He’s really just TOO much!

  3. Pingback: Things That Are Common In All Desi Movies | Tea Break

  4. Niyaz says:

    haha …especially if u watch tamil & telugu movies u can see lot of funny stuffs like this…full of garam masala …
    But i guess now scenario’s are getting better then before but dont include rajinikanth & other old guys movies its stilll d same 🙂

    ~ A little too much of garam masala 😀

    Yeah, new movies are slightly realistic. But Rajni Kanth gets paid for his “super” fighting skills na 😀

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  6. moukound says:

    golt(telegu) movies are hilarious… the hero sometimes stops the bullet with his bare chest!! And lucky you to get all the channels free for eid. they don’t give such things here anymore these days 😦

    ~ I don’t understand Telugu very well, so Masood has to do the translation for me. But I do enjoy the fighting scenes 😀 It’s really amusing. Like you said, “The hero stops the bullet with his bare chest!”

    And yes, it was nice to get all the channels free for a week 🙂

  7. moukound says:

    http://www.bosskaboss.com/tm/index.htm

    good one btw!!

    ~ Hahaha, this was too funny! The marble even bounced back from outer space! And the bullet through the ear, LOL 😀

  8. misspecs says:

    Great post! I laughed all through it.. the white saree part, the hero-getting-up-when-heroine-is-threatened part, LOL.

    One time, I saw this Pakistani Movie where this actor Sha’an is dead. Then, his mum says ‘uth, tairee maa ka hukam hai’ (get up; its an order from your mother) and he gets up!!!

    LOL. Loved the post! 🙂

    ~ So a mother can even order a dead son to return to life! LOL

    We should get an award for exaggerating things to the maximum level 😀

  9. Ab says:

    lol. I don’t watch Hindi movies, but my mom does. and most of this, I have witnessed myself! lol.

    Enjoying the Eid vacation?

    ~ Hehe, I don’t watch too much movies either. In fact, I’ve never watched a desi movie completely. I just don’t have the patience to sit through three to four hours in front of the screen. 😀

    Eid was fabulous, Alhumdulillah. I spent it with family and friends 🙂 How was yours?

  10. Wakas Mir says:

    hehehe great one sis 😛 Yes the mum has to be blind in all movies.. cuz you know you can’t ruin what we can never guess na.. you know her hitting her head somewhere and getting her mem back 😛

    ~ Oh yes, I totally forgot to mention that! That’s an absolute classic: hitting the head brings back memory, can even cure blindness in some cases 😀

  11. beyond says:

    i am trying so hard not to laugh loudly because my kids just went to sleep but i cant help it.a very funny post:)

    ~ Hi Beyond. Hope you didn’t wake them up 😀 Thanks for stopping by!

  12. Ordinary Girl says:

    ROTFL!! This is so true!! You can always tell what’s going to happen next. But this reminds me of a 60’s Pakistani movie called Saheli. Wow! Such twists, such fast-paced story! Better than many latest movies I have seen.

    ~ You got me interested in “Saheli” 🙂 Thanks for mentioning it! I’ll be watching it soon.

  13. hfm says:

    Even though these films are so generic and predictable, we STILL continue to watch them
    Maybe it’s because they never cease to entertain us!
    🙂

    ~ And you don’t need to think much while watching these movies 😀

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