Back in school, history classes bored me beyond tolerance. I hated memorizing the dates and all those names I couldn’t even pronounce. I didn’t care about the drainage system people had four centuries ago, or who fought whom, or which dynasty reigned in which particular era. But I did study when I had to, so I could pass with enough grades so as to not affect my overall performance in all the other subjects, and wrote decent essays.
However, it appears that some students, aside from finding history boring, didn’t seem to put much effort in understanding it, and therefore came up with their versions of history itself, which are pretty amusing. Below are examples of such essays written by students.
Without the Greeks, we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns – Corinthian, Doric, and Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable.
Achilles appears in “The Illiad”, by Homer. Homer also wrote the “Oddity”, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. Shakespeare never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He lived in Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies, and errors.
In one of Shakespeare’s famous plays, Hamlet rations out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy. In another, Lady Macbeth tries to convince Macbeth to kill the king by attacking his manhood. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet.
Writing the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote “Donkey Hote”. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote “Paradise Lost”. Then his wife dies and he wrote “Paradise Regained.”
The sun never sets on the British empire because the British empire is in the east and the sun sets in the west. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. Her reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.
Care to read more? You can find more essays on history here.