Complete Body Service?

Our lunch time is spent reading classified ads in the local paper …

PS:  Both of these ads were classified under “Education”.

Personalized Flats

I took this picture while sitting in a taxi, waiting for our turn at a gas station.

This building – called Nazir Palace – was built in 1919.  It’s written at the main entrance, hidden behind the tree trunk and sign board.  This is one of the several other old buildings here in Mumbai.  I find them all very fascinating.  Sadly, a lot of these buildings are in a pathetic state, waiting badly to be renovated.   The Nazir Palace is one of them.

Obviously it’s a residential building, and people have taken it to themselves to personalize their own flats by painting it with colors of their choice.   So I’m assuming that if one of the residents of that building tries to explain his or her flat to a new friend,  he or she will surely add, “Oh, you’ll recognize my flat;  it’s the pink one with matching towels hanging over the balcony.”

Lost in Translation

This is so much fun!  While randomly browsing the web, I came across Google Translate and decided to give it a try.  Initially, I wrote a paragraph myself and had it translated, but it didn’t feel quite … exciting.   Therefore, I’ve randomly selected paragraphs from the blogs that I frequently visit (without their permission) and translated them to another language, like Japanese, Chinese and Arabic.  I then had them translated back to English.

The original text from Falakk

Now, before you start saying I should be enthusiastic about going to mosque because I get to learn about my religion and pray Qur’an and what not, let me interrupt you. We hardly do anything. Oh sure, we pray a little Qur’an and learn a little about our religion, but really, it’s not anything I didn’t know before. And hello, the mosque is chock-a-block full of little kids. They fight and pull each other’s scarves off, cry, sidle up to me and tell me I look very pretty, keep staring at me (this part is very creepy!), giggle and gossip. The mosque aunties yell for order, but end up chatting amongst themselves. Me? I sit there staring at the clock, waiting for 12 o’clock so I can go home already.

Translated to Japanese

さて、私の前に、私は宗教と祈るクルアーンとは、学ぶことについて私にお邪魔せ得るモスクに行くいきごむするべきであると言って開始します。私たちはほとんど何もありません。まあ確かに、私たちは少しクルアーン祈願し、我々の宗教については、本当に少し学ぶと、今まで何も知らなかったわけではない。捨て、モスクぎっしりですが、小さな子供たちの完全なブロック。彼らと戦うと、私ににじり寄る泣く互いのスカーフを成功させると私は非常にきれい、見て私のこと（この部分を見つめて教えて非常に不気味だ！ ）、クスクス笑うとゴシップ。モスクauntiesため、大声を上げるが、自分の間でチャットを終了します。私？私は時計を見て、 12時に帰宅することができますので、私はすでに待って座っている。

Translated back to English

Now, in front of me, I pray the Quran and religion, you start to say that the mosque should be enthusiastic about going to bother you I could learn about it. We do not have anything. Well certainly, we pray for a Qur’an, our religion is about, and really learn a little, but did not know anything until now. Abandoned, the mosque is full, complete block of small children. And fight them, the success of the scarf and I cry each edge up to me very clearly, I see (a very creepy I looked at this part!), Gossip and giggle. Mosque for the aunties, yell, and then close the chat among themselves. I? I looked at the clock, 12 o’clock, so you can go home, I sit waiting for now.

The original text from Specs

The stenographer is typing a document and she comes in to show the draft for corrections when the woman screams, ‘This one! She’s trying to listen in on our conversation so she can cheat me.’  The A. D texts me a message that says in so many words ‘RESCUE!’ so by the time I get there, there’s no lady there. Only the A.D. ‘Where’s the lady?’ I ask. ‘She just went to get something. Lets run,’ she suggests.

Translated to Traditional Chinese

正在輸入的速記員的文件，她是在顯示的更正草案時，女子的尖叫聲， ‘這一個！她試圖監聽我們的談話，讓她騙了我。 ‘ D文本的答：我這樣的消息在這麼多的話，救援！ ‘這樣的時候，我有，沒有夫人的。只有公元’在哪裡夫人？ ‘我問。 ‘她只是去獲得一些東西。可以運行， ‘她建議。

Translated back to English

The shorthand writer is typing a document, she shows that the correction in the draft, the woman’s screams, ‘This a! She tried to listen to our conversation, she cheated me. ‘D version of the A: I have news in so many words, the rescue! ‘This time, I have no wife. Only Year ‘Where is his wife? ‘I asked. ‘She is just to get something. Can run, ’she suggested.

The original text from Nisa

I’m very bad with road directions. I really should have a GPS navigation system in my car (hint hint). Typical female you say? Nopes, it’s just me. For the past donkey years before I got my driving license and when I was still being driven around (in car, cabs or bikes), the routes have never been of much interest to me. Instead of looking at the roads and the surroundings, I used to close my eyes (and daydream) till I reach my destination.

Translated to Arabic

أنا الطرق سيئة للغاية مع الاتجاهات. أنا حقا يجب أن يكون النظام العالمي لتحديد المواقع نظام الملاحة في سيارتي (إشارة تلميح). تقول امرأة نموذجية؟ Nopes انها مجرد لي. طوال السنوات الماضية قبل أن الحمار حصولي على رخصة القيادة ، وعندما كنت لا تزال تسير نحو (في السيارة أو الدراجة سيارة أجرة) ، والطرق ، ولم يكونوا قط من اهتمام كبير بالنسبة لي. بدلا من النظر في الطرق والمناطق المحيطة بها ،وكنت قريبة من عيني) واحلام اليقظة) حتى الوصول الى بلدي المقصد الأول

Translated back to English

I am very bad roads with directions. I really must be a GPS navigation system in my car (Hint reference). Says a woman pilot? Nopes it’s just me. Over the past years before I got my ass on the driver’s license, and when you are still moving around (in the car or a motorcycle taxi), and roads, have never been of great interest for me. Instead of considering the roads and the surrounding areas, and I close my eyes (and the dreamers) to get to my destination.

‘Money-Doubling’ Conmen Arrested

This incident took place in the United Arab Emirates, more specifically in Ajman, the country’s smallest emirate.  It was this Monday, when the Ajman Police arrested two Africans for allegedly cheating people claiming that they could double money by using – despite all modern things available -  witchcraft.

Some concerned residents tipped off  the Criminal Investigation Department (CID) people about these men living in an apartment in Al Nuaimia that were involved in money-doubling activities and had conned a large number of people.

Therefore, the police sent an undercover agent to negotiate a deal with the suspects. The agent carried Dh100,000 with him. The suspects showed the decoy a box containing black paper sheets in the sizes of dollar and euro bills and claimed that they could turn them into $10 million.

The suspects then took Dh100,000 from the CID agent for buying some liquid which, they claimed, they required to transform the black paper sheets into dollars.

Both were arrested immediately thereafter.

Both men confessed that they had swindled many people in the Northern Emirates.  The police, however, hasn’t determined – yet – the exact number of people cheated by the duo.

The case has been referred to the public prosecution.

Source

Makkah Gate

Makkah Gate at the Jeddah-Makkah Highway in Saudi Arabia

I had been waiting for this gate from the moment we got into the car heading towards Jeddah, after our Umrah three months ago.  This gate signifies the boundary of the haram area of the city of Makkah, where non-Muslims are prohibited to enter.  But long before this gate arrives, people coming into Makkah from Jeddah have already undergone the necessary checking of passports and other documents.  The structure is that of a huge book, representing the Qur’an, sitting on a rehal, or book stand.

And it looks even more beautiful at night …

The gate at night (Googled image)

Our driver, for this Makkah to Jeddah trip, was a local and didn’t speak English at all.  I was actually surprised since back home in the U.A.E.,  I never saw a local drive a taxi. But then, this car wasn’t a regular, registered taxi;  this was his own private vehicle.  However, buses take a long time, as per our  Madinah to Makkah experience, we had a plane to catch in four hours, and besides, everywhere we looked, people were taking these private taxis.  Therefore Masood, his friend and this local guy negotiated the fare in sign language, and we hopped in.

Before we entered the highway, our driver stopped briefly at a gas station.  He asked if it was okay with us if he made ablution and prayed 2 rakats first.  It wasn’t time for the regular prayer, so we assumed he prayed nafl.  We waited for him in the car.

Our adventure began when he returned, fixed his head gear, smiled, and started the engine.

He didn’t drive the car;  he flew it!  And when one is flying, one doesn’t feel a need for indicator lamps.  So he just changed lanes as he wished, abruptly.

And since driving can get so boring, and such a waste of precious time as well, he decided to multi-task.  He made/attended phone calls, sent text messages, cleaned his ears with cotton buds, searched for the tissue box, and counted his money – all the time maintaining a speed of 120 km/hour.

“We should’ve prayed a few rakats ourselves,” I told Masood.

We reached Jeddah airport an hour earlier than we were supposed to, in one piece.  Alhumdulillah.